02.18.09

too much information

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:55 pm by Anne

Every other week I help out at Lily’s lunchtime. you may already know this, I get extra napkins and sporks…open ketchup packets and string cheese, whatever. And of course, since the class consists of 18 kids, I also try to keep them focused on eating which is not a small feat with 6 year olds, boys, especially.

They tumble out of chairs, and tease each other, they want to chase or pretend or exclude…so some of what I do then is police patrol. I dry tears, demand apologies, point out trash that needs to be picked up, etc.

A few weeks ago the boys were laughing and giggling and grinning about the notion of ‘boyfriends and girlfriends’ and I felt it was my obligation to clear the air. I casually sat down in the middle of the group and began, “You know, I have friends that are girls and I have friends that are boys…” The kids raised their eyebrows. ” Since they are all friends of mine, it is okay for me to refer to them simply as boyriends and girlfriends…do you understand what I am telling you?”

The head boy, a nice kid who is repeating kindergarden this school year(he is not a slow kid maybe just a bit rambunctious), nodded and looked at me with his large blue eyes. He said,” My Mom and Dad broke up because my Mom has a boyfriend.”

So, of course, I changed the subject.

This week, the boys were causing a ruckus in the lunchroom. That same boy with the big blue eyes had somehow reduced the toughest girl in class to tears in addition to another little boy across the lunch table from him. It was a two-for-one special I guess. So I sat down and sternly talked with the child about how I had every right to demote his behavior from the color blue(the best) all the way down to red(which generally means a visit to the principal). I decribed how it’s not kind to say hurtful things, how these are your classmates, etc blablabla, don’t be hateful, lalala…during which a different boy piped up declaring, “Andy is crying like a little baby!” And off I went on a different tangent. “Now Oscar, babies may cry but so does everyone. It’s okay to cry when one is sad, in fact I cried just last week. Everyone cries sometimes not just babies.”

Blue eyed boy got my attention again. He was agreeing with me and said,” My Daddy cried after my Mom lied to him.”

Oh boy.

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02.13.09

Me and Emz

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:52 pm by Anne

Yesterday was a big day. There were Valentines to address, a ’star of the week’ poster to finish (for Lilz), marinara sauce to cook, a house to scour, and errands upon errands upon errands. We picked up Emma from a friend’s house, after nabbing Lily from school, and then rushed home to change into ballet gear(where is that damn leotard!), and breezed to class a few minutes late. It was one of those days of too much to accomplish and too little time, ie normal life. Sadly, things didn’t change much in the evening and I was a little iriritated to miss the gym.

Lily had trouble focusing during ballet, which reinforced plans of the summer recital as being her final performance. Then dance was over but followed by a Valentine exchange (it never even OCCURRED to me to bring any there)…! We got home in time for a quick dinner which was followed by bath time…then Lily had to read to me and choose clothing for today. Then the poster was mostly completed and Lily was out for the count, joining her sister Pipez. But because of an unscheduled Emma nap(she missed supper), Emma was bright eyed and bushy-tailed and chatting my ear off.

She asked for her leftover peanut butter crackers. and I gave them to her. Along with another glass of ice water. I walked into the laundry room and Emma followed like a little puppy. I put two baskets overflowing with clothing on the floor and began the tedious process of folding and separating. She helped by pulling out and folding (-ish) her clothes. When that was done, she put the finishing touches (stickers) all over the poster for Lily. Next I helped Emma string candies on a necklace with the promise that she could wear it in the morning. We were getting things done.

Finally it was time for bed. I held her hand and walked up the stairs. I kissed her goodnight and reminded her what a great day today would be and she laid down. As I left the room Emma called out, “Mama…” “Yes, baby?’ I stopped and turned. She was sitting up in bed and she said, “Mama, my favorite part of the day was eating my peanut butter and crackers…and folding laundry with you… and making my candy necklace.”

Again I was struck by the needs of my middle child. Little things. Small things. Precious things. If I only took the time more often maybe I could avoid the heart pangs.

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02.05.09

oh my.

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:01 pm by Anne

I just have to get this out. A few minutes ago Emma turned to me and said,

“Mama. When you die, I am going to marry Daddy.”

great kid…just great.

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