12.30.07

birthday etiquette

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:34 pm by Anne

So I don’t have a problem, per se, but I do have a question for ya’ll.

Let me tell you the situation first:

Lily’s preschool class has 12 kids in it. Birthday parties this year have included everyone in the class. That said, Lily has an additional five friends who are not in her preschool class who we must invite. Adding in Emma, and a few sets of younger twins, the total number of children potentially invited to my soon to be 5 year old’s birthday party balloons to a whopping 22.

Now, Lily has graciously cast away two boys from her class (I don’t know them or their parents anyway) which takes the number to 20 but I’m still a little apprehensive about it.

What do ya’ll do? How do you handle how many are invited? Many of the kids have already invited Lily to their own birthday parties so we have to invite them in return…right?

Holy crap. 20 kids.

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12.26.07

Day After Christmas…

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:48 am by Anne

Lily crawled into our bed this morning and snuggled in close to me. Then, her father, in typical male fashion shifted and farted loudly. It sounded like a kazoo imitating a canon.

Lily: Daddy! You need to say ‘excuse me’!
Shan: (groggily) uh. ok. (croaking) Excuse me.
Lily:Thank you. (turning to me and whispering) Looks like *I’m* the boss right now!

I hope ya’ll got everything you wanted. As for us,this may have been the best Christmas to date.

Shan requested a week ago that I forego the traditional prime rib with all the fixings for a ‘mexican christmas’. I made chicken enchiladas verde, cheese enchiladas with ranch sauce, spanish rice, beans, killeramazingmakeyouwannaslapyourmomma guacamole, and my baby sister brought some really toothsome pork tamales. Unable to completely leave behind my old timey notions of yuletide cusine, we had pumpkin pie with real whipped cream for dessert. and it was so good. It was so good that I am considering putting into play a new tradition of enjoying regional Christmas suppers.

Next year…it better be an Italian Christmas.

Merry Christmas Ya’ll!

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12.19.07

only in texas

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:56 pm by Anne

Somehow, while playing with her sister and the rest of the gang of kids today, Emma’s pants got wet. She came inside, complaining and shedding her wet drawers like old snakeskin. “Go upstairs and put something else on,” I told her, ” you have to wear clothing in order to jump on the trampoline.” Not necessarily true per se but we do have a few basic rules to follow at our house.

I continued making our dinner and after a few minutes glanced out the window to see all the neighborhood kids jumping like wild animals on the trampoline. There was Emma in the scrum with these hooligans…her eyes shining brightly, her mouth open in a crazy happy smile, and dressed in a bright orange bathing suit.

At least it wasn’t her birthday suit.

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12.16.07

letter to the north pole

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:31 pm by Anne

Dear Santa Claus,

As you know this has been a challenging year for me. I tried to be good. I tried to be really VERY good. As such, my wish list may be trickier than the standard toy/clothing wishlist but I believe a mystical being with your abilities and marvelous talents can handle it.

One, could you please teach my oldest to flush the toilet after she poos? Walking into the bathroom and discovering her little fecal goodies is no longer charming. It’s a tired and smelly game that I am always losing. Imagine what it would be like for you if all those elves didn’t flush? Yeah, I know. Disgusting.

Two, would you convince my middle child that it is perfectly OK to wear pull-ups to bed everynight. If I wake up one more time to a urine-drenched nightshirt, negative ju-ju might just engulf my soul permanently which would greatly decrease the overall holiday enjoyment for those around me. Or you could just send me a little elf to wash my laundry and make my bed. forever.

Three, I’d appreciate it if you’d sell my youngest on the virtues of formula. I am so over the breast-feeding (Is it okay to say ‘breast’ to Santa? -Sorry) after all the infections, blockages, bites, etc. that I’d stop now if she would just pony up to the formula counter. Breast was best for the first two kids but man, after 10 months with Pipez I am ready to give it up forever. Did I mention she has 6 teeth? Yeah. Ouch.

PS: And if you could throw in some plumping serum for the deflated balloons that my bosoms will turn into, I promise not to ask you for anything else ever again.

Thank you, Santa, Thank you.

warmly yours,
Texasbelle

Permalink 15 Comments

12.15.07

cough cough cough

Posted in Parenting, marriage at 11:52 am by Anne

Yes, people, I have a GD cold. It wouldn’t be Christmastime if half the family wasn’t hacking, snotting, or running a fever, now would it? Piper has the snotting element down pat (she wakes up every morning with a nice clump of dried mucus in her bangs), Emma had a fever a few days ago (which unfortunately made me miss the Christmas Pageant at school where Lily had a leading role), and now I can’t sleep at night because I am coughing or unable to breathe through my nose.

Good stuff, great stuff. Merry Christmas to all the viruses and secondary bacterial infections out there. And screw you.

Did I mention that my husband left for another hunting trip? I know these things are essential for him to maintain his perch on sanity but good Lord. If my Mother wasn’t here at my house, things would be much much worse. And God Bless my Mother. Too often I let things she does or say make me nuts but she is a lifesaver. I think my sister would agree. I need to give her a break.

Inspiration of the Day: Piper can stand up all by herself now!
At the tender age of 10 months she is a lot closer to walking than the other two girls were.

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way yesterday that we need a gate to put in front of the stairs when a mis-communication about who was watching her resulted in a tumble down the steps. She bonked her head and wept piteously but once again, this near-disaster-miss, was a lot harder on me. What if’s are total buzzkills, ya’ll.

and now to close with a Tibetan prayer a friend passed along to me. I think it is very appropo to this hollyjolly time of year:

May I be filled with Loving Kindness
May I be Well
May I be Peaceful and at Ease
May I be Happy

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12.11.07

shrinking affirmations

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:36 am by Anne

So this last shrink visit (yesterday) hit on a number of things in my life but mainly my own self-esteem.

Dr. Shrink: so tell me in what ways you are a good mother.

Me: Well, I don’t spend enough time with my kids. I don’t read enough to them. I let them watch too much tv, and lately I’ve been getting pretty super angry too quickly over minor things. Did I mention how I like to have a glass of wine with dinner every night?

Dr. Shrink: I find it interesting that you answered the reverse of my question.

The appointment was wrapped up with an explanation of ‘affirmations‘ and as corny as they may seem, how helpful they are in re-programming your brain. You are what you think you are, right?

If I can just raise my girls into self-reliant adults with none of the fucked-up body image problems which may or may not lead to unhealthy relationships with men…wow. I’d be a half-way decent Mom. Maybe Stuart Smalley is on to something:

I am fun to be with. Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and doggone it, people like me. Well, not everybody. But that’s their problem. And your problem.

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12.07.07

Dr. Shrink

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:26 am by Anne

So it is official. I have a head shrinker. Today I went in for my first appointment. I’ve never been in to talk to anyone like this before, this one on one business, but I found it surprisingly easy. To talk and talk and talk and explain and describe…there was even a point when I thought, “Hmm…I am talking more about my own mom than I am myself; is this okay?”

and it was.

Then I got back to me. and me. and me. and the kids. and the husband. and my friends. and being a SAHM. and past trauma and shock and sadness.

She even asked me if I was depressed. I don’t know? Maybe, a little?

Merry Christmas to me. These appointments are going to rack up quite a bill. You better believe this will be going into the annual Christmas letter.

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12.04.07

gym slut

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:58 pm by Anne

So I just switched from my all-women gym to my husbands brand new cutting edge state of the art mixed gender gym and it jas been a real eye opener. I mean, guys, WTF? Why do you have to look every single girl in the eye so aggressively? Testosterone levels that high must be toxic…because being around so much makes me want to puke my guts out.

Then tonight, I went to the ‘chiseled’ class my husband attends 3X a week. It’s the one he offhandedly commented to me right after delivering Piper, “Uh, yeah, you should see if YOUR gym offers a chiseled class. I think you’d like it.” Loose translation: Look fatASS go do something because you are making me sick to my stomach. ” Actually, it was a great class…not too much cardio and a shit-ton of freeweights with bust my ass leg moves.

Ok. So tonight I get all the equipment for the two of us…a step, 4 risers apiece, a few varying sets of free weights…and I wait for him to show up. Meanwhile, the class is filling in gradually, thankfully, with a variety of body-types. Some bigger than others, some shorter, some taller, some older etc. And I wait. Then I see him reflected in the mirrors. He doesn’t see me. I keep smiling. Still nothing. Then I finally see him smile, but realize that huge grin is not for me, it is actually for the beautiful and sassy class instructor. (Don’t get me wrong, I know beautiful when I see it.) He walks in like he owns the place, and this pencil-necked geek who had set up for his model-thin, and super buffed out wife, whispers loudly, “Oh Good. Shan is here!” then the same geekboy comments to his guy friend, “Shan lifts the real heavy weights.”

Lordy, lordy, lordy.

My husband, everybody’s sweetheart.

Then commenced a very painful hour of physical torture. Shan left after about 30 minutes to go to a city council meeting and I was left by my lonesome. To bleed internally. The end.

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Christmas Desire

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:42 am by Anne

I don’t really know exactly why I want it. Is it the sleek space-age design? The way it reminds me of a bygone era? Or is it just because my love-affair with microwave popcorn is officially over having died so many years ago? The seemingly endless quest for the perfectly salted, lightly buttered stash of freshly-popped corn may be over with this little beauty.

Score some corn!

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12.03.07

Hello Kitty’d OUT

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:04 am by Anne

top

Originally uploaded by Dux

So here is the cake. Two 10 inch layers of strawberry cake (made with *real* pureed strawberries), filled and topped with a decorator’s cream cheese icing, and festooned with buttercream transfers.

God Bless America.

My friend who makes these transfers regularly and who is a pro in her own right, supervised and made suggestions during cake creating, and if it weren’t for her this wouldn’t have turned out nearly as cute. So thanks man!

And I also need to point out that my other friend, AND my sister, were indispensable at today’s party. Thanks to you bitches the party went off without a hitch. (The same goes for buttercream transfer girl!) I’m so lucky to have you guys; I know this.

Currently, after slogging though pictures, and uploading, and blablabla…I still have a house to clean. At midnight. While everyone else sleeps.

zzZZZZZZz.

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