10.31.07

the perils of cleaning

Posted in Emma, Parenting at 11:56 am by Anne

So a few nights ago I grabbed a dish towel to wipe the counter after spritzing with antibacterial cleanser. Emma stood closeby nattering about candy and applejuice so it was only natural for me to assume the potty smell in the air was coming from her. “Emma, ” I began, “did you go potty in your pants?” Her large eyes looked up at me, becoming even larger and blinking with disbelief that I would even ask. She vigorously shook her head while vehemently exclaiming, “No Mommy! I didn’t go peepee!”

Ok. Fine. So I kept on cleaning. Clean clean clean…until I caught a whiff of the potty smell again. This time, I was a little irritated so manhandled Emma in order to take a peek in her pull-up. Nope. Nope. It wasn’t Emma I was smelling. “Well that was a fine howdy-do!” her eyes sparked at me while I doubled back trying to discover where this smell was coming from. I bent down to the clean counter and saw stars, literally, the pungence was un-earthly strong. (Picture what a teddybear saturated with urine and then left to bake in the Saharaan desert would smell like) What? How?!!

Then I picked up the ‘clean’ dishtowel ever so slowly, hesitantly bringing it to my nose.

B.
I.
N.
G.
O.

and Bingo spells the name of the guilty party too. Someone (and when I say someone I mean EMMA) had apparently cleaned up an errant potty accident on the floor with a towel but instead of putting the soiled textile into the laundry hamper, that someone (ie EMMA!) instead just slipped it back into the drawer. Alongside other clean towels.

Nice April Fool’s trick, hon. Thanks.

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10.29.07

Bloggy Birthday

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:26 am by Anne

And this goes out to one of my oldest and most special blog-friends to date:

Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Missus Flinger McFlingerton,
Happy Birthday to you!!!

The whole center of the universe that is Texas is a much bleaker place without you! Here’s to a whole ‘nother year of goodness in the Flinger household!

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10.25.07

meme me up

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:09 pm by Anne

I found this on stickyfeathers and thought ya’ll would like it too. At least those of you who appreciate memes will. The rest of you, well…go back to whatever you were doing on facebook.

Meme on the first born

1. were you married at the time? yes.
2. what were your reactions? yay! we are some fertile muthers!
3. how old were you? 29
4. how did you find out you were pregnant? I went to the Dr for a standard checkup and when he asked when my last period was I told him I was late. So he took a blood test.
5. who did you tell first? Shan’s sister and my sister
6. did you want to find out the sex? totally.
7. did you deliver early or late? um on time.
8. did you have morning sickness? just a bit nauseasted in the mornings those first 12 weeks
9. what did you crave? chocolate, greasy fried food like fried cheese and ranch dressing, shrimp, fruit
10. who irritated you the most? non-pregnant, twenty-somethings in austin texas
11. what was your first child’s sex? girl
12. how many pounds did you gain throughout the pregnancy? at least 40 and those last few days were all water weight so i do not count them, okay?!
13. did you have any complications during your pregnancy? nope
14. where did you give birth? presbyterian hospital
15. how many hours were you in labor? about 12 hours
16. who drove you to the hospital? Shan drove with Mom in the backseat
17. who watched? Shan, Mom, Cecily, and my good old MIL
18. was it natural or c-section? what started out as natural turned into an emergency c-section
19. did you take medicine to ease the pain? bring it. it was brought. and i cannot reccommend it enough.
20. how much did your child weigh? 6lbs, 10 oz
21. did your child have any complications? no
22. what did you name him/her? Lily
23. how old is your first born today? 4 years,9 months

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10.24.07

whoa.

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:21 pm by Anne

waterdrop3macro

Originally uploaded by Dux

This morning I took Pipes and Emma to Target for a little shopping. Imagine my fear, during one of Piper’s now common outbursts when I hear the words: Hey! I know you!

Freeze.

I always always freeze when I hear something like that rattle through my periphery. Will I know the person? or more importantly, will I remember that person’s name? Names are so important, I know that, but unfortunately with my current condition of fried eggs for brains, I simple cannot depend on myself to remember all that I should 100% of the time.

I look up and find my sister grinning at me, God Bless her. “I thought that sounded like Piper screeching!” she said.

Man. Pipes. Tone it down already, will ya?

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10.23.07

my other photo class macro

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:55 pm by Anne

mummacro2

Originally uploaded by Dux

Piper has this really cool game. I think she may have invented it herself but there is a chance that one of your own evil children taught it to her telepathically or something.

It’s like this:

I’ll have a nice batch of babyfood all ready to go. It could be one of a variety of fruits, it might be a healthy antioxident packed vegetable, it may or may not be augmented with a dose of organic rice cereal…the point is dinner is a go. She’ll perch in the bumbo seat and after a few bites the game with begin one of two ways.

Piper will:
1) grin broadly with a serving of mash in her mouth and blow a huge raspberry with each new bite
or
2) turn her arms into a pinwheel and try to slap a) the spoon away and/or b) the bowl away until I am so fed-up with the spattering I run for the wine and throw a few errant cheerios over my shoulder.

It is an awesome game ya’ll because either way food goes every-freaking-where! Multiply this times two and that comes out to 14 babyfood messes a week.

Yay Piper! (you little terd.)

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10.22.07

Boo-ed

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:28 am by Anne

I had plans this year to start our own neighborhood BOOing program. And when I say I had plans, all I mean to say is that I thought it would be fun to put together…not that I went to any websites for ideas or anything or even purchased items to leave on the doorstep. Perhaps a very small part of me was hoping someone else would be the first so that I could just join in the fun without any of the nervousness that comes with initial forays.

Whatever.

So the month is almost over, Halloween is just around the corner people, I have not put together the festive packet meant for single family distribution, and there is no booing in place here. At least not in my hood. At least, not that I know of. Surely if booing was going on closeby, I would have been on the receiving end by now right? RIGHT? (Since you all know how funny and nice and wonderful I am. ) cough

damn.

Then yesterday I went out the the mailbox and found a little card decorated with little jack-o-lanters on it. Do i have to tell you there was a giftcard inside for a few starbuck’s pumpkin spice latte’s? My friend boo’d me dammit and God Bless her!

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10.19.07

some days i am the spider

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:58 pm by Anne

jumping spider with prey

Originally uploaded by Dux

but usually i am the web.
being the spider is definitely more exciting, more fun, more life-affirming but where would a spider be without its web?

that’s right. totally screwed.

i don’t know if this is one of the macros i’ll submit to photoclass next week. i’ll keep you posted since it means so much to you and all.

speaking of progress, yesterday when i picked Emz up from class she had an ‘award’ from the teacher. Apparently she asked to use the toilet not once but twice and then she actually went potty! Good ‘ol Emz…I may be a little hard on her but she’s definitely my girl.

yesterday i overheard her exclaim to her grandfather, “I don’t have a penis!” he replied with a jovial, “well, that’s just great!” and changed the topic.

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10.17.07

so.

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:21 am by Anne

landscape assignment

Originally uploaded by Dux

cremation or full burial?

i remember as a little girl bragging about what i knew (which was next to nothing) about being cremated to my paternal grandmother. keep in mind that she was a widow (my grandfather had died shortly after i was born) to a former protestant clergyman. after i proudly announced to her in my piping 4 or 5 year old voice that i wanted to be cremated after i died, she told me, and i will never forget this:

Oh no, Annie, I do not want to be cremated because then my body would be all burned up in heaven.

and thanks to that i lost any desire to be exposed to extremely high heat and scattered to the four winds. altho, let’s be honest, is the image a whole lot nicer to decompose slowly in the ground?

shortly after my own father passed away and the ceremonies came and went, leaving me with fresh anguish and seemingly endless sorrow, picturing my father’s corpse in the ground almost completely opened the original wounds of loss whenever I’d chance to dwell on it (which the first two years was often.) even now sometimes i picture what his remains would be like at this point, 3 years later, but my reaction has gotten better.

now i just miss him terribly.

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10.15.07

party coma

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:53 am by Anne

We are suffering from post-party coma today. After the open house yesterday, featuring lots of wine and birthday cake, the girls were put to bed and we finished cleaning the house. This morning a violent rainstorm blew into town and the gray weather has basically put the kibosh on doing much of anything which might resemble productivity.

I still haven’t even decided if I’ll have a second cup of coffee though.

Oh sure, there is plenty to do. For instance, I have to run into town to pay cash for the honey baked ham we consumed almost entirely yesterday. (How is it some stores still don’t take credit cards?) Lily has ballet lessons later, and we are on another lovey hunt…but man. I kinda just feel like pulling the covers up over my head and laying down while thunder rages in the background.

Something tells me the girls wouldn’t go for that so I might as well have another cup of java.

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10.12.07

more letters from the edge

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:27 am by Anne

To the serial killer in the truck next to me:
Dude. Please stop staring at me. I know I look like a lesbo in my gym clothes but get over it. I’m not pulling over so that you can murder me, I’m just too busy right now.

To the nice lady at Old Navy,
You see, Pipes was crying and I didn’t have a toy so I let her chew on a plastic hanger. I should have assumed that she’d gradually make her way to the paper price tag and eventually chew it to bits. You paused to watch me hastily unbuckle her from the baby seat and frantically perform the finger sweep to clear garbage from her baby mouth. When I looked up and saw you standing there, feeling the adrenaline leave my bloodstream only to be replaced with embarrassment, thank you for saying, “She is smiling…she is okay now. I have five children of my own and wanted to make sure everything was okay.” Little kindnesses are way undervalued.

To my husband,
The next time baby wakes up screaming at 1AM, YOU GO GET HER. Because of your meddling with the natural order of things, I slept in this morning but am severely sleep deprived, not to mention way behind on all of my errands for the day, and did I already say how freaking exhausted I feel? Sheezus. Grab a clue. For me.

To the fools at Tom Thumb grocery store corporate,
Where to begin? So you have 12 different brands of soda on sale, “buy two, get two free”. No place does it say that the 4 sodas have to be identical to one another. What’s more, that is the most idiotic sale notion EVER. You people suck. And just so you know, the nice people at customer service have no problem issuing a refund. So screw you.

To Piper,
Look. Baby. I cannot hold you all day long. Things to do, people to see…if you know what I mean. Mainly, I’ve got to assemble the birthday cake and put a thick crumb coat on it. Please. Cut me some slack. Eat some cheerios like a good little baby now. Please. I am begging you.

To the giant, bright red, oozing zit on my face,
Thanks. Thank a whole hell of a lot. You couldn’t have arrived last week? What? Eff you too.

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