12.31.06

pony hellia

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:59 am by Anne

So Lily’s birthday party is fast approaching and the time has come for me to buckle down and figure out how it is going to all pan out. I figured out the cake many months ago and since then have been collecting a variety of cake pans, 1X2 in, 2X2 in, 3X2 in. etc…all the way to 8X2 inch. A buttermilk layer cake with jammy filling and a pink buttercream…all little girls pine for something like that right? Hell, I’m not a little girl and I’m pining away to nothingness. cough.

Here is the thing, our theme is a bit scattered. I picked up the ‘kit’ on clearance from H.O.E., consisting of 8 invites, goodie bags, scrapbook, blablabla…and it is all about My Little Pony and the requisite droppings, and although MLP gags me as much or more than the disney princess phenom. I am thrilled to have a change of scenery for once. I’m supplementing with just plain pink and purple birthday artifacts (plates, napkins, streamers) since there was a reason the MLP pak went on clearance in the first place and apparently it doesn’t exist anymore. Which is fine.

Now I have to come up with games (pin the tail on the pony and what the hell else?) would a small troop of 4 year olds like hitting away at a pinata? You’d think I’d know where to buy a pinata in Texas.)), and lunch menu (papa murphy’s pizza and carrot sticks/apple slices?), and snacks for all the accompanying adults. It’s kinda creeping me out since my Mom is no longer around. In place of the word ‘creeping’ use ‘overwhelming’ and there I am, in all of my pregnant glory.

Happy New Year! I hope you all plan on imbibing mass quantities of celebratory fermentation; I damn sure would if I could.

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12.29.06

What is it?

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:12 am by Anne

So I glance in the shower this morning and see that nearly half of my *BRAND NEW* spring rain shower gel from caswell-massey that was a gift from an old friend, is gone. WTF?! I throw on a bathrobe, tramp over to the office, poke my head in and ask, “Did you use some of my bath gel, Shan?” The thought of his filthy man hands struggling with my sweetly scented soap and smearing it all over his blunt and coarse man body was almost too much for me to bear at the moment. Now was it useful for me to storm his office at 7:30 in the morning? Maybe not so much. “No.” He answered, looking me square in the eyes, “It fell off the shelf and spilled because the lid wasn’t on securely.” I spun around and huffed away, mildly disappointed with the truth and irritated with myself for not putting the lid on tight enough.

My Mom is packing up and getting ready to leave. I think we may run one errand with her to the grocery store first because the only things left to eat in the house is a magnificent array of various candies and toothpaste.

Emma has contracted Lily’s ratchety-hackety-miserable cough, which sucks. I took Lily to the Dr a few days ago and she was prescribed some albuterol for use with a nebulizer. Having to give her breathing treatments 3 times a day while a little face mask pumps aerosolized vapor in a puffy cloud that likes to get into her eyes gives me a slight feeling of what it must be like to have a chronically sick child. Just this small thing, I know it is a small thing, is absolutely heartbreaking. If it prevents her from coming down with a fullblown case of pneumonia, though, it will be more than worth it. And if Emma keeps going the way she is going, she may finally get her wish, which is to experience the purple dragon mask that she sees her sister wearing before every meal. Good times, good times.

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12.26.06

The Menu

Posted in Recipes at 11:21 am by Anne

8 lb roasted prime rib
crispy baked new potato gratin
spinach-strawberry salad w/ poppyseed dressing
popovers (thank goodness my pan arrived in time!)
spiced cranberry-apricot conserve

dessert(s):

coconut-lemon layer cake (southern living rulez sometimes)
sour cream chocolate bundt cake
monster cookies
toasted pecan toffee
apple pie w/ vanilla icecream

If you thought this was going to be a relaxing holiday for me and mine, you were wrong. Altho the Christmas supper group at my house was smaller this year (only 7 adults), I was still cooking and baking the whole week before snd most of Christmas Day. And I have to include this: Nothing would have been possible without the constant assistance and help from my Mom. She washed dishes and helped with the girls, cleaning incessantly and put things up, all while enduring my petty complaints over this or that. Having her stay with us is a Godsend everytime no matter how much I may complain about lil snarky bullshit.

Then, thrown in for good measure were more than a few moments of complete and total pregnant-insanity. This third pregnancy has been the most difficult by far (maybe you’ve gathered that by now) and without going into any embarrassing details (at least not right now), I have given Shannon more reasons to divorce me than I’d care to admit. And he looks at me with such incredulous sadness following one of my mean/inane/psychotic/completely out there rants…it breaks my heart. And I don’t have the immediate apology down pat yet. It takes me so long to gather my thoughts and admit my faults or when I’ve screwed up sometimes…that by itself makes everything so much worse. I’ve blogged a lot of crap casting Shan in a negative light but you know it is just me taking the glare off my own deficiencies.

and on that note: Merry Christmas a day late to my blog-family!

I’m looking forward to returning to the regularly scheduled writing and reading and hope that all of you have made a lot of good holiday memories. I’ll be chicking in with you soon. Promise.

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12.22.06

What the…

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:14 pm by Anne

ok, so I like decorating cakes as much as the next gal but isn’t this a little expensive? Even on sale?

sheezus.

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12.21.06

Nice.

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:14 pm by Anne

So Shan’s sister didn’t show up at last weekend’s Family Christmas because she was very ill with a virus and suspected “Fifth’s Disease” I have never heard of it before this but this woman is particularly saavy and she ran it by her doctor friends first who informed her that under no circumtances should she be around any pregnant people if she did have the illness. So she and her family stayed home.

I went in for a bloodtest monday in order to see if I’d been exposed to it in the past but it looks like I haven’t which means not only will I not get to see them over Christmas but NO ONE ELSE who comes in immediate contact with me or my family can either, at least not until the incubation time (OF THREE WEEKS!) has passed and no one else is presenting symptoms. This, unfortunately, includes both of Shan’s parents and I cannot help but feel very responsible for more or less ruining my MIL’s Christmas with her own daughter.

Then Shan popped off this morning with the helpful comment that “This may be the last Christmas all of my grandparents are present for…” Great. Nice one. Thanks for making me feel better. Although, really, it’s not about me, right? It’s about protecting the tiny Piper inside me who has co-opted my vitals and grows like an invasive parasite in my enormous belly.

My Dr told me a little about what could happen if I were to come down with this virus and it goes a little something like this: My immune system would mistake Piper’s red blood cells for the parvovirus and launch an offensive on her that would basically make her little RBCs explode and then I would miscarry. Oh Sweet Jesus.

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huzzah!

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:15 pm by Anne

So we got the new modem overnighted and it is a great relief to be once again connected to the world because I am telling you people, what is more lonesome than not being able to check email? Ya’ll know how it is; it sucks!

I also learned something good. Before having company over for dinner last night, I asked the girls to pick up the toys and books they had strewn about the living room. Lily complied with very little problem. She worked fast, dare I say efficiently, while her sister who is caught up in all of that two-year-old attitude did not. Emma refused to help with anything and at the very end, when all was put away, the only thing remaining was her pair of little pink cowboy boots laying askew in the middle of the walkway.

“Emma,” I said, “Please pick up your boots and put them in the cabinet.”
“NO!” she bellowed.
“Emma…put away your boots, please.” I said. “NOW”
I added.
She scrunched up her frowny face (again) and gave another forceful NO before walking off to play but I couldn’t let this slide. I just could not let it go. I followed her, repeating what I needed her to do and was met with even more resistance and a swat for my problems. Yes, Emma has begun swatting…not just me, but Lily, and Gramma, too…no one is safe from her little slappy hands. So I popped her on the bottom.

She cried out but immediately began laughing which really made my blood boil. “PUT YOUR BOOTS AWAY NOW EMMA!” I yelled and loudly. Obviously at this point I was starting to lose it. Again, she refused and as she started to walk away from me, I picked her up with one arm, scooped up her boots with the other, she howled while I walked her to the utility room. Then I got an idea.

The utility room has three doors. I closed two of them, placed her on the floor with her boots and said, “Emma, I am going to put you in here by yourself until you place these boots where they go.” and I gently closed the last door behind me. In less than 15 seconds Emma had put her boots up and began crying “I’m sorry Mommy!”

I’m thinking this solitary confinement will work in ways that yelling and spanking does not. So woohoo for our little Christmas miracle.

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12.20.06

Out of Commission

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:09 am by Anne

This is Anne’s sister, Barbara, she wanted me to tell everyone that her internet will be down for the next 3 days. Her modem broke early this morning!! She is highly irritated about the whole situation, as I’m sure we all can relate!

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12.19.06

And this is why my husband rulez:

Posted in Uncategorized at 3:35 pm by Anne

After all that searching and lamenting and hormonal craving, he gave me an early Christmas present this morning. And you know what? I nearly can’t tell a difference between a homemade version utilizing this and an actual ‘bucks punkin spice latte. It’s gotta be the syrup. 

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12.17.06

Not so holly jolly…

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:58 am by Anne

Last night as I began drifting off to sleep, in a dizzying flash that left me feeling completely isolated and very much alone, a spark from the thought “One day I will die.” passed over me. Shan had already fallen asleep, I could hear the soft breathing of the girls in their childish slumber, but for a moment I was lit up like a Christmas tree of fear.

This morning I woke with the memory still fresh and wondered how my husband deals with that thought and then next (of course) how all of you deal with the absolute knowledge that no matter what we as individuals may do or may not do in life, that all of us are slated to pass out of this world.

How do you overcome that basic truth?

We enter this world alone and will leave it alone and one day I will join my father wherever he went to, and all of my ancestors before me, preceding whatever genetic line that develops and follows behind me. But what makes my life any more important than the clonal life span of a paramecium, or the existence of a jellyfish, or that wolf up in the arctic? Nothing at all. And that is okay. That is fine. I wonder in the ‘hierarchy’ of living things, which eukaryote, in our ’simplest’ definitions, is cognizant of its own ending? Does it worry or feel sad about it? Surely there is more to it than just the will to survive for as long as possible/pass along its genes fitfully, right?

I know I am the best mother my children can have (the poor bastards) but I also know if I were to die tomorrow that they would be okay. Loss makes us stronger and more perceptive, I think, and sadness makes us appreciate the moments of happiness that randomly cross in front of us. I’m not saying it makes us better people but well, maybe it does.

How do you get through the hard thoughts?

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12.16.06

oh pooh.

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:15 am by Anne

So the tiramisu I took over last night had really good flavor but the zabaglione custard never really set up properly. Somehow Shan elected himself in charge of serving the first few slices (a very generous term, slice) and wound up teasing me mercilessly about how gloppy and messy the dessert had become. Drag. I hate when things don’t turn out properly. So don’t use that Tyler Florence recipe I linked to previously, I’ll keep my eyes open for a better recipe. sheesh.

Then, to make matters slightly worse, I think our friends spent a little more money on our Christmas gift than we did on theirs. Surely ya’ll have experienced a dilemma like that before? What do you do? I feel kind of like an asshole about it but am not convinced that having a conversation with them about it would help the situation very much…because the discrepancy is not in a known range but a possible range, anywhere from 10-20 dollars. And I don’t want to come off worse than I already do since gifts ARE about the thought involved…right?

Other than those two things, dinner was a very fine event. She is good cook. And a good friend.

Now, this morning we have a 4 yr old’s birthday party to attend which will be followed by a scrappy to-do list. Shan’s entire family is in town for the holidays and there is much merry-making on the schedule.

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