06.29.06

and end to all that

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:22 pm by Anne

What the hell. How does a mouse wind up living in my car? How did it get in there? How long has it been chewing around the underside of my seats? Shan mentioned last week he thought one was in there after he performed his masculine duties of giving my auto a thorough douching. I poo poo’d the idea, of course. A mouse? In my car? This afternoon he told me about finding definitive evidence…a dropping on the dash.

I ask you again, what the hell?!

Then I got the stern lecture about no more feeding the girls in the car and blahblahblah. All I have to say is this: Mister Man, when you start carting the kids around twenty four seven, then and only then can you tell me what will and what will not go on in the vehicle.

No more cheerios, or goldfish crackers, or mini marshmellows? Ha! Don’t make me laugh.

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06.28.06

that chick

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:23 pm by Anne

You know that chick who gets up on the elliptical next to you at the gym? The one who glances over at you as she increases her speed so that you seem to lag behind her as you both go…Nowhere? The one in the cute matching gym outfit, bitchy blonde hair in a ponytail, and a tan? Obviously no children thru natural means because her upper legs show no veins or cellulite. You know that girl right?

So I was blessed with the hagfish THE ENTIRE TIME. After I left the elliptical, she did too. She followed my heavy ass as I picked out some arm weights and then she stood next to me and exercised as I did. I was about ready to drop kick her pretty little self in to next week when she moved away and did her own weird movements. I actually had to smile at how ridiculous she looked but whatever. When I smiled, I thought of Lily and Emma in the daycare and how they had been playing together the last few times I’d gone in to retrieve them. Not separate with Emma crying by herself, they were wrestling or canoodling with others. Then it occurred to me that this poor women did not have my two bits of inspiring wonderment in her life, she did not get to wake up to their beaming smiles or hear ‘I love you Mommy, you are my best friend!’. That girl may have everything else her heart desired but she did not have my girls. So really, she had nothing. At least, nothing so important or as lovely. I used to be that chick but I wouldn’t trade places with her for anything.

Kids rule.

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06.26.06

laying low

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:00 am by Anne

I’ve been out of the loop for awhile because of speaking too soon. For the past week morning sickness has crept up on me and with it, some light malaise. Despite this, thankfully, the girls have been having cute moment after cute moment and are getting along so well that the notion of having another girl is a welcome one. In fact, I find myself bristling over the possibility that it could be a boy. The sister dynamic is just too awesome. Besides, here’s what I know about raising boys: zip. I’m feeling that since at this point my preference is for a girl, that I will automatically have a boy.

Tuesday playgroup is still on but I am slowly realizing that the other little girl in the group, at the tender age of three, is working on her manipulative skills at Lily’s expense and it is really starting to piss me off. The boy at playgroup is fine and some of the time Aspen is fine but more and more I am seeing her as really hot-cold. Lily is an easy going kid. Very friendly. If you were three, she would walk right up to you, grab your hand and say, ‘come on __________, let’s go play!’ Now when we see Aspen, Lily walks over and Aspen immediately reacts by pouting, pushing her away, or yelling. Lily shrugs or asks, “Aspen, why are you mad at me?” or sometimes Lily will continue doing whatever she was doing which makes Aspen ballistic. In any event, I am finding that overprotective Mom inside me wanting to throttle this kid.

Emma has learned a few more words: please and bye . Ysterday night, as we were working on the new words, I actually got to see the little gears moving behind the bright eyes and it was thrilling. Then Lily got in on the action and tried teaching her the word ‘chip’. They sat facing each other and Lily would lean forward to say ‘chip!’. Emma would smile or laugh and tried. oh she tried. the ‘ih’ sound is just not there yet but soon.

Now we are headed to the gym because damned if I didn’t miss all last week and my ass is already suffering because of it.

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06.22.06

Emma Rulez!

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:15 am by Anne

It’s not because she wakes up earlier than Lily. That is just a special bonus…some alone time for she and I. She woke up with the usual soggy diaper and I let it be for while preparing a nourishing yet savory breakfast and washing the dishes from last night (How I love that shit!). Once Lily woke up, it was time for a shower and by the time we got there I noticed that Emma’s sagging diaper had been twice filled (at least), so much so that her little pink jammies were leaking a thin brown fluid. It was nice. After a thorough scrubbing and during the process of drying off, she began to assume the position. you know the one. I asked her, “Emma, do you want to use the toilet?” and she nodded her head folks. So I lifted her up there and held her arms and believe it or not but she actually poo’d. Well, it was kinda diarrheaesque but still, it was poo.

Then the dog got in on the action later. This afternoon following lunch the girls played in the inflatable pool of aquatic goodness. Silly me, I forgot to stick Em in a swim diaper and was rewarded with some freaky wretchedness upon pulling her out of the pool to dry her off. It was just gross although I’m not entirely convinced that a swim diaper can handle numero dos a whole lot better (it seems to kinda melt away in a swim diaper. ew). We go into the house and I let Em toddle about while I find a diaper in the bathroom. Yeah. Just what a pregnant woman wants to see. I walk back into the room and discover Emma had made a runny deposit on the kitchen floor, something apparently delectable to the hound because she stood there lapping it up like it was fruited pudding.

This is why we don’t kiss dogs on the mouth, ya’ll.

Gag.

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06.20.06

So did I tell you the one

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:50 pm by Anne

about our friends who read my blog occasionally but I didn’t know they read my blog ever and I posted something crappy about them once? Well, it was one of those awesome moments when you can’t really backpedal because you don’t remember what you wrote so you can’t really defend being a hag. Yeah, you know’em.

We were all in the kitchen together a few weeks ago, they were visiting us and really, I mean really helping out with the girls while I got to put on my prissy apron and morph into the iron chef. My measley blog entered into the conversation and Bob said, “Yea, you wrote something about us when you were irritated the last time we visited.”

WHAAAAAAT?

Something like’ Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.’

My mind was racing and I felt a hot blush coursing through my cheeks. “I must have been joking around.” I lied. “I would NEVER write anything crappy about you and Jade!”

We continued talking about it and I figured out it had to be around the time my sister was laid up inthe hospital and hour’s drive away and I was not looking forward to the drive, while these guests ETD kept getting pushed back later and ater into the evening. So I had to apologise and felt very small but a brilliant lesson was learned. I hope. Sheezus.

Aha. I found it. Damn, it wasn’t THAT bad after all! whew.

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exhausted

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:23 pm by Anne

Playdate was here and I made these zesty little pizzas for the chillun’s by using a cookie cutter for the dough shapes, baking the shapes for a few minutes, topping with sauce and cheese and chunking in the oven for another 7 minutes. awesome. The whole cutting of the pizza dough was a little more labor intensive than I would have preferred, especially since Emma was having another moment.

All day long.

She has been pinching and scratching lately. her sister. her mommy. little children who are too small to retaliate. and it is taking me to the limit. Today she made two little gouge marks on a 10 month old baby face and then didn’t understand when I put her in time out. Thoughout the rest of playate insanity, whenever I’d glance at the baby’s poor face my stomach would turn. I am so ready for this particular phase to be done becaue in all other respects, Em is a great kid, but this need to inflict pain is just so wrong.

Meanwhile, I am freaking exhausted. So tired. Toys are all over the house, dishes are piled in the sink, and all I want to do is lay down to sleep. For the next 48 hours. Yeah, pregnancy blows. I hate everything about it. I even hate the word itself and all of its derivations.

Quick, somebody slap me I need to get happy!

zZZZzzzz

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06.19.06

What to do what to do.

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:40 pm by Anne

My ‘helper’ came over a few minutes ago and I have a feeling that this is the start of a beautiful relationship. She is upstairs with the girls right now and I have free range of the house. I can cook. or clean. or sit on my ass at the computer just like this! yow. and since we douched the house yesterday there isn’t a huge mess in front of me. I’m feeling overwhelmed. And (get this) her Mom talked me down to 2 dollars an hour.

How can I argue with the Mom? Moms rule.

The drs appt went fine. Blood was drawn, privates were inspected, and I got weighed and measured and handed the ol list of acceptable meds and sent home. Assuming no problems, the next visit in 4 weeks will be for the ultrasound. zZZzzz. You know how wigged I am about genetic problems, well, I asked the doc about amniocentesis and blablabla. He summed it all up with the following:

At the age of 35, women have a one percent chance of giving birth to a baby with a problem. Also at that age, having an amniocentesis performed to check for said abnormalities, will result in a terminated pregnancy one percent of the time.

Since I’m 33, the former is less than one percent while the latter is still one percent so it is an unneccessary risk. Therefore, no amnio unless something changes between now and then.

Gah. This worry is going to make me totally apeshit before all is said and done.

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115072400411027646

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:24 am by Anne

So in a few hours I get to go to my first official drs appointment. This pregnancy is already different from the previous two; there is no sign of morning sickness. This normally might be a nice thing, right? but I don’t feel pregnant at all and it creeps me out.

Then, last night at the Father’s Day party here, my SIL told me a tragic story of how her best friend had a miscarriage at 20 weeks recently. YAY. The only thing wrong with the baby was that the umbilical chord had wrapped around its neck, no genetic abnormalities, just bad luck.

Seriously, how in the HELL did I make it through the other two pregnancies? I need to start reading my archives or something. sheezus.

Five weeks along and counting.

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06.15.06

Another story

Posted in Uncategorized at 2:34 pm by Anne

I have to tattle on myself because today we went to McDick’s with another Mom with two kids. Lily and Emma and the other children got to swinging around like monkeys and bumping through the overhead tubes, while my friend and I watched and talked. Food was picked at, briefly, and playing commenced all over again. At one point, two older girls, I’d guess they were 10 or so, walked up ushering Emma between them. “Is she yours?” they asked. and then they walked away. I didn’t quite get what was going on until this dude walked over and says, “your little girl had walked out of the play area and into the actual McDonald’s tables/ordering area.” I appreciated that he wasn’t too scornful of my apparent lack of mothering but was horrified that Emma had taken off and I hadn’t even seen it. HORRIFIED.

sigh.

Next time we’ll get a table closer to the door so I can monitor things better. sheezus.

On a better note, the 9 yr old will be coming over monday to watch the girls while I clean the house like a madwoman. How much would ya’ll pay a mommy’s helper? I think I already told her Mom that I’d give 3 clams and hour so I’m not sure I can back out. the little girl claims she charges nothing, which is very sweet but come on, she needs to make something. Rbelle, you had a helper for awhile, didn’t you?

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06.13.06

too early

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:58 pm by Anne

So Emma has recently mastered the arcane talent of being able to remove her diaper. Yes, I know it would happen sooner or later, especially with a big sister who uses the actual toilet and who slams the door in Emma’s face while announcing loudly “I’m having privacy!”

I pulled out ye olde potty chair a week ago and began the arduous process of peepee inquiry. “Do you want to use the potty, Emma?” She always shakes her head vigorously, planting a little seed of impatient hope there in my freaky pregnant heart. Normally the diaper is removed and she’ll have a seat only to grin broadly at me and grab-ass at the catch-all receptacle hanging off the potty. “Maybe later” I always tell myself and carefully re-attach the diaper, making sure to dress her again as well so that I don’t find a bare-assed indian running through the house later.

Well, so tonight, she actually peed a little. Like, 4 drops! She showed me. I beamed. Then we marched into Daddy’s office and proclaimed the good news. Everyone was terribly proud. My mistake was not putting the diaper back on because she wound up squatting over Daddy’s leather briefcase. No biggie, I cleaned it up and led the girls upstairs to get PJs. While grabbing Em’s, Lily sang out, “Emma peed on the floor!” Sure enough the landing (site of last playdate’s pee debacle) had been doused once again. By the time I made it downstairs, I discovered yet another site of urine debasement…in the closet.

How awesome would it be if she became potty trained before the age of 2? What are the odds? Lily started trying at 2 and finished by 3…when did ya’lls get trained and what method did you use?

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