04.29.06

The twins came over to see me today.

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:00 pm by Anne

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unsullied lands

Posted in Uncategorized at 12:54 pm by Anne

So Lily didn’t quite make it to the bathroom again this morning and wound up peeing on her nightie. This got me to thinking about all the places in the house where I’ve had to wipe up pee. Both girls have done it (mainly when I’ve been a litle lax with putting a diaper on Emma following a bath) and I’ve decided to compose a list therein.

1. on a kitchen chair
2. on a barstool
3. in the towel cabinet
4. on the bathroom stepstool
5. on the bathroom rug
6. next to the toilet
7. on the stairs
8. on the sofa
9. on the back porch
10. in the front flower bed
11. in between the shower and the water closet
12. next to my computer
13. in my closet

oops. the list does not include pee in every single bed in the house. oh well, you get the idear.

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04.28.06

how about you?

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:40 am by Anne

Your Life Path Number is 11

Your purpose in life is to inspire others Your amazing energy draws people to you, and you give them great insight in return. You hold a great amount of power over others, without even trying. You have the makings of an inventor, artist, religious leader, or prophet. In love, you are sensitive and passionate. You connect with your partner on a very deep level. You have great abilities, but you are often way too critical of yourself. You don’t fit in - and instead of celebrating your differences, you dwell on them. You have high expectations of yourself. But sometimes you set them too high and don’t achieve anything.

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good morning you ugly bastard

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:27 am by Anne

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stop me if you’ve heard this one before

Posted in Uncategorized at 9:08 am by Anne

I put Emma to sleep last night with the humidifier buzzing over her bed. She had sounded a little congested and I wasn’t in the mood to incline her bed so that her head was higher than her feet. (Does anyone do that?) A mistake? We’ll never know.

This morning I found the dried up evidence of a boogery night coating her entire upper lip. And now, at this moment,we are experiencing an all-out nasal assault by whatever germy cold microbe she picked up. Towers of green mucus ushers from her nose like pond slime but it doesn’t stop there. She swipes both hands alternately across her face, smearing and spreading the sickness as far as it will go, over and beyond whatever house item she comes across…doorknobs, windows, blankets… the dog. Wiping these hands is not an easy halfhearted event, it has become a specialized occupation involving a tight grip, multiple paper towels (or TP, or tissues, whatever) which ends with a squirming babe, eyes just a-watering and an indignant stare.

Thank God it’s friday, I’m feeling a weekend from hell coming on.

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musical beds

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:07 am by Anne

So I am still playing that fast-paced and exciting game every night called musical beds. I start out sleeping in our own bed and over the course of a few hours, wind up rushing to one girl’s bed to calm her. Invariably I fall asleep again, until having to get up and rush to the other girl’s bed, where again, I fall asleep. Until I hear plaintive cries rousing me up again.

It is kinda starting to bite the big one.

Last night, Lily woke me up while I snoozed in my own own own bed. I was dreaming of a tall blonde giant towering over me until realizing it was just her mop of tangled hair standing next to my side of the bed, as she patiently waited for me to move the hell over so she could climb in. Not long after Shan and I both had to adjust from our comfortable positions to accommodate the whelp, the other one got to crying from her bed. Up I went, leaving my warm snuggly bed again, where I wound up spending the rest of the night next to my 18 mo. old in her twin bed. Not so comfy.

I know a woman who atually put a lock on the outside of her child’s door to keep him from leaving his room at night but that seems more than a little severe to me. Of course, I operate pretty well on no sleep, so maybe I am just getting used to it. How did ya’ll get your’s to sleep in their own bed? How long did it take? How old were your kids when they started sleeping all night on their own?

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04.26.06

What a Bidge!

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:31 am by Anne

Lily had school today (thank the lord) and Emma and I went to the gym together. It’s been a week since my last gym visit and I knew it would be painful but we went anyway. In fact, it wasn’t too bad. I cardio’d and read the new yorker while ellipsing and then went on to leg weight horseshit. I like leg days because during the leg presses and thigh presses, I can continue reading which really takes the tedium out of it. Sometimes I lose track of the number I am on but what the hell. Today, just as I was finishing my last set, and engaged in an article about the middle east, bitch from hell accosted me. She spat over my shoulder the following words of bitchiness, “Are you going to be done soon?!” I turned to look over my shoulder and was met with such a cold and malevolent stare that INSTEAD of replying with a “I am not quite finished here but you are welcome to work in with me.” I mouthed the words, “one-more-set” and held up my index finger with pride (when I really was feeling the middle finger rising in my heart…is that wrong?) to demonstrate what the number one looks like to such a woefully unhappy and wretched beast from the depths of bitchland. Who knows if they understand the concept of numbering there.

Her evil green eyes narrowed with disbelief and contempt and she huffed around while I finished my set but all I could think was ‘FUCK HER! Whatever happened to politeness?!” I was running through my head all the possible ways she could have confronted me.

Jesus Christ I hate the rudeness.

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04.24.06

weekend re-cap

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:57 pm by Anne

I feel like we’ve been away a very long time.

This past weekend was spent celebrating my bro’s birfday, noodlin around, and eating massive quantities. Please, never offer me 1) hotdogs or 2) hotlinks ever again. and I mean EVER.

My bro and sil are leaving tomorrow morning for San Fran. which sucks. Every time I visit with him I feel re-charged, re-connected. I need him to move to Australia so we can hang out more.

More later, I need to clean the crud from my eyes and ears and get to drinking more water. The other mistake I made was to wind up in a liquor store and to purchase a bottle of Southern Comfort. Who the hell drinks that shit? ergghhhh.

Seriously tho, people, the regularly scheduled blogging will begin post haste. Thanks for hangin in there.

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hot link gag

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:56 pm by Anne

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pooped

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:53 pm by Anne

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