03.30.06

Smilin’ Michael

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:55 am by Anne

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03.29.06

Mortification

Posted in Uncategorized at 10:49 pm by Anne

So remember way back when I was pregnant with Lily and experienced a dinner craving? Well, we all went to a very similar place last night to celebrate my BIL’s new job.

It was as good as it always was, crisp shrimp, dizzying coleslaw, icy water…the whole shebang but it was the first time to visit with both girls. Lily ate well. As in, she ate french fries and hushpuppies and humored us with a few bites of shrimp. Emma stuck to saltines and followed with a french fry chaser until deciding that she had had enough and got to the usual business of being Emma.

After dinner we drove to the hospital to visit baby Michael. I scrubbed up to my elbows for three minutes, looked to where my BIL had gone and followed. Baby had changed to a different NICU room. So I walk in, go to the baby in the basinette where BIL is standing and lean down to talk to Michael. “Awww. you don’t have a peanut head!” I exclaim and proceed to kiss his forhead. Then I stand back up again and am horrified to find my BIL is not my BIL that in fact, I do not know this man, and as a result, the baby I just kissed is most definitely NOT my nephew.

I look and there across the room is my actual BIL holding baby Michael.

“I am so sorry!” I apologise to the stranger and his baby while backing away with my hands out in confusion. “He says, “I didn’t think I recognized you…I just figured you were a doctor.”

zzzZZZzzz.

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One more thing

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:51 pm by Anne

I have a question that’s been bothering me forever. Well, since I started getting pedicures…which is not often…but I love them and would get them more regularly if the nail salons also provided daycare. But enough about that, my question is how much do you tip for a pedicure?

Today cost 25 dollars and I gave her an extra five.

I wish there were strict tip guidelines to haircutting and all these other personal sevices, like those existing for restaurants. The whole undertip vs overtip is such a mind screw.

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What the…

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:25 pm by Anne

So today at the store I saw a new flavor Dr. Pepper. And it scared me. Have any of you seen the new Dr. Pepper Berries and Cream? What the hell? Even more strange, the official website gives no mention of the latest flavor. What, are they performing sodapop testing in Australia again?

But yea, I purchased a bottle of both diet and the regular berries n cream DP.

zzZZZZzzz. Not bad but certainly nothing to write home about. I’ll just stick to my Dublins and call it good.

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03.28.06

Tueday ring-a-ding

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:10 am by Anne

Lily and Emma are at the table eating breakfast right now. Last night around 2AM I heard a feeble voice sing out, “Mommy, I went poopoo.” I flew out of bed to Lily’s room where she lay crumpled on her sheets. Sure enough, she was right. I set her on the toilet and got to cleaning the yuck from her drawers and she continued bowel excavation. Poor thing. Something she had given her the squirts and we were there a good while discussing the reasons behind poo and why she would not be getting a treat afterwards.

I’m not sure that these middle of the night visitations by the poop and pee fairy are memories I will cherish above all others when the girls are older. In fact, I’ll be relieved (as it were) when they stop completely.

But when we got back to bed and she threw her arms around my neck and whispered “Mommy, you are my best friend!” which was followed by “I love you so much!” I was content to clean another stash of befouled bedclothes if only to feel her tiny hands clasped at my neck a little longer.

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03.26.06

the horror

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:54 pm by Anne

So just moments ago I got to meet the neighbors across the street. It was great.

First of all I heard something at the front door. So I opened the door wide and found nothing on the porch. Then I looked to the west and found Shan chatting with a woman I’d never seen before. “Come out here, Anne. ” he called and I had to say “I’ll be there in one minute, let me grab Emma.” So I grabbed Em and went back outside to meet this woman. She was pleasant but for some reason aimed all of her words to Shan and wouldn’t make a lot of eye contact with me.

Well hell, she must be more comfortable with shan. I thought. Then her husband walked over and I met him too. and their two younger sons, both of them older than my girls.

Then I went back in the house and discovered that one of the PADS from my bra (the left side to be precise)was halfway out of my shirt and snaking up my collar.nice.

All you women with nice bosoms who have no reason to wear these padded doo-dads are lucky ass mo-fos. That’s all I’m going to say on the matter.

zZZZZzzzz.

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Who knew these little bastards lived in Australia too?

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:01 pm by Anne

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out in the boonies this weekend

Posted in Uncategorized at 4:59 pm by Anne

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the KEWLEST Mommy blogs

Posted in Uncategorized at 1:00 pm by Anne

Well Girls,

I’m sorry to say I just leafed thru the latest issue of ‘babytalk’ magazine to check out who they thought were the COOLEST MOMMY BLOGGERS IN THE WHOLE DAMN WORLD, and I didn’t make the cut. Even worse, none of you did either.

This tells me that the geniuses behind that tedious and often crappalicious periodical are effing morons. OR at the least, they are ignorant assholes.

Which is worse? You be the judge.

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03.23.06

the bed wars

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:16 am by Anne

so even after buying a new comforter w/ matching shams to go on Lily’s princess bed, even after admiring it and assuring me how much she loved i and wanted to keep it, even after discussing the merits and value behind sleeping in your own own own bed…last night was still a genuine pain in the arse back and forth spectacle in which Mama got little to no sleep. again.

Sometime around midnight both little girls were sleeping next to me inmatching jammies and I decided enough was quite enough. Their wallowing aroud wakes me up and call me silly but I am kind of missing the act of sleeping against my husband of 9 years.

I sorta thought the pretty bed would help, that she might want to sleep against such lovely softness but I was wrong. As soon as I put her down, or at least as soon as I extricated her from my bed she started mumbling things like, “I want my Daddy.” which turned into “I want to sleep in Daddy’s bed.” and “I hate this bed.” All things which were followed by weeping and the muttering of curses in Mommy’s direction.

Then It was time to move Emma which I thought would be easier. I don’t know why I thought this but I was wrong. I scooped her up with no worries. Then I set her down on her flattened pallet of squished and now cold blankets and she began to howl. Soon she’ll be able to climb up into her own little bed but until then she gets the pallet treatment and I get no sleep. I had to pull a blanket down and shove a tiny tiny pillow under my head just to get her used to sleeping there. Then, just as she started evening out her breathing and I even began to drift a little, Lily started squaking from her bed.

Basically, last night bit the big one and I am one crabby Mama. Welcome to my world.

oh, and Lily has just pee’d on the floor.

again.

GAHHHHH and zzzzzZZzz.

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